Your skis are like a race car—lean forward, but not too far. You’re not auditioning for an avalanche.

But, please, try not to fall directly in front of a pro skier. It’s a pride thing.

Imagine you’re in a snowplow stance, but a little less dramatic. The snow’s there to catch you, not judge you.

Aim for a full 360 twirl before hitting the snow. Bonus points if you land it—minus the bruises.

Tired of waiting in those long lift lines while your legs freeze into ski popsicles? Here's a tip: wear a bright orange vest and carry a clipboard. Just mutter something about "line safety checks" and watch the crowd part like fresh powder before a double black diamond.

When you’re about to miss your exit, do the most graceful side shuffle. You’ll look like you meant to do that.

It’s not a flagpole—keep them in your hands unless you want to be that person who sparks a pole-jam.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Throw in some pretzels and call it a "balanced meal."